When I want to violate myself

I spend time with you

Body and Soul; there is nothing you can offer

I pour myself an A.M. cup of idiot brew

spinning in my head

get out! spin out!

curious weather criminal

tired of being alone

pour hydrogen peroxide in my ears, clean the spots out from my mind

my brain has rug burn

Good-bye letters would be easier to write if you didn't exist.

Cluttered windows reflect the dust in my blood.

Sleeping won't do me much good

Dreams just beat me up,

wrestle me to the floor

my empty pockets always seem to get me far

I rarely wait at the bus stop

Can't seem to drown and I want to drown

this is the longest love letter I have ever written

he wants to know if I am the girl he's in love with

I can't call

the walls drip worry

upset finally got to the thought of sex

sexed up kisses

not ready to give up this feeling of bliss

don't disappoint, just want to be dipped in acrylic

nothing can get to me nothing can get out

flip a coin

make a phone call

the waiting room of karmic overkill

I sit silent

punching numbers to feel fucked up

better soon, better soon

I know you're there staring at the walls

staring, watching the hair on your arm grow

Any excuses to miss facing rejection

swim away from my phone call

swim away from our possibilities

Buying a new suit at full price

so I can own the full experience

cross-eyed and complaining

my mind has taken me to new heights of frustration